Family Pics from our trip.

Addison and Peyton, about 1 week old.








Awake!











My grandaughter, Amber Hewitt, who will turn 20 Nov 9. We were privileged to have her visiting with us while we were in Colorado. She was a big help and it was great to see her. The twins are her new little cousins.


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Rockingrama's Reflections: rockingrama (Paula) Updated 9/4/2006

Rockingrama's Reflections: rockingrama (Paula)
Hello netfriends! It's been a while. My husband and I have been traveling around the country, back and forth from Texas where we live to Florida, then Colorado, then Kansas and back home again. It was a fun time filled with family and new experiences, but we are both more than ready to be back and into our zone of familiar friends and routines. Funny how a person looks forward so much to vacation time but looks forward just as much to getting back to the routine they escaped. Is this a loop???, hmmm....maybe worth further consideration. Another time.

Our Florida trip was almost a month long and we combined many things we've been wanting to do with visits to Bill's family in Lakeland and mine in St. Augustine. Between Lakeland and St. Augustine we spent time at our timeshare in Orlando and participated in some of the local hoopla, including Kennedy Space Center and Water World. Mostly we just hung at the resort though because everything we wanted was really there. We had a great view of the lake from our screened in veranda and plenty of opportunities for fine (and not so fine) dining and viewing the beauty that is all around you in Central Florida. It's not my cup of tea for a place to live, but visiting is always nice.

We drove on both of our trips. They were planned well in advance of the gas hikes and we decided we would still be slightly ahead going by car. The trip across the southern states on I-10 was a grim reminder of the tragedy of Katrina. It appears that some progress is being made but I can't imagine a full healing of the affected area for years to come. I'm just praying that they are not hit again this hurricane season and that the levees and dams will be in full repair the next time an act of God brings a storm. My gosh...where are all of these people that were displaced? How are they doing now? The answers we get in the media just don't seem to suffice for the scope of human difficulties that must remain. Let's not forget this wonderful part of our country.

We were home from Florida only 3 weeks when we got the call from my daughter in Colorado that her twins were going to be delivered within a day. We had promised her a month to help them get settled with the twins and put her on the path to healing and we delivered as promised. It was a wonderful month, full of activity. My most significant contribution, I think, was just to get meals to the table and be there for moral support. Bill felt a little out of his element, but hung in like a champ and really enjoyed being around these new little lives. Both of us were exhausted and ready for home by the end of our month. By the same token, it was really hard to leave these grandparent duties and feelings behind for now. I'm having trouble posting the babies' pictures within the blog, so will post them independently...just can't resist!

Coming home brought new challenges...especially outside. The garden was so overgrown that I was surprised we didn't have a letter in our mailbox from the community association. It was time to change the filters on everthing in the house and two days into our return the compressor went out on our air conditioning and we had to have it replaced. In a record setting month for heat (24 days over 100 and an average temp of 100.7 overall), this is not a laughing matter. We got great service though and put the matter to rest in a day. So...we called our yard service and got some help with the yard, which is now mulched, trimmed, fertilized, fungus free and replanted for fall...more pictures to come...and went to work on the inside of the house to get ready for a visit from my son and his wife from Connecticut. Between all these obvious tasks we worked in doctor's appointments, started physical therapy for arthritis issues both of us are having and tried to renew our commitment to getting down to the fitness center for swimming sessions in the afternoon hours. We're still working on the last one.

Our cat (even though she has a loving petsitter) was mad as a hatter because we had been gone so long. This lasted about 5 minutes though and she was back into our normal routine of petting, feeding, snuggling, etc. I noticed that freefeeding her during our absence had put a little weight on her, then checked my own thunderous thighs for the changes that being on the road can bring. I think I won. Shoot!

Priorities now include catching up on my responsibilities as coordinator for the adult activities group at our church, trying to finish my Texas Real Estate License course I ordered from UT Arlington online educational services at the beginning of the summer, getting my blogs back on track from a long absence and trying to keep my health up to par. I am hoping to add at least one class from the Senior University at Texas Southwestern University here in Georgetown this winter.

The older daughter of my three often poses the question to me.."What are you doing Mom?" Her tone is one of disbelief that I am busy after retirement. I guess the answer is that I can't imagine what was getting missed when I was working because I am very satisfied just living life and having the freedom to choose what I do. That includes working again if I want to. For now, retirement is A OK. I feel blessed.

Next week our adult activities at church kick off with a luncheon at Southwestern, then we are off to Mo Ranch in Hunt, Texas near Kerrville mid-month for an annual all-church retreat. The fun begins!

See you again soon.

God bless and keep you till then.

Paula

rockingrama (Paula) 8/20/2006

About Time

Time has been on my mind lately. It’s not particularly unusual because I recently had a birthday and that always brings up the subject. What makes it more interesting is how a person’s view of time changes with age.

I used to view time as the enemy. There was never enough of it to pack in my musts, wants, needs and desires. It was too easy to waste, quick to slip away and a crafty thief of uninitiated dreams. It was also filled with predetermined expectations that often conflicted with my will.

Time was not my enemy, I was. The truth is that we have enough time for anything that we truly want.

Time is the universal gift that belongs to each of us regardless of circumstance, gender, race or abilities. Even a person who has limited time to live or who is restricted in their ability to move freely within the bounds of time has the unique freedom to use it to improve, to inform and to correct the direction of their own thought processes. Great literary works have been produced during incarceration, when the authors clearly had no control over circumstance but a lot of time on hand. Some examples are the writings of Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Dostoyevsky and Paul’s letters to the Corinthians. Stephen Hawking is a paraplegic who suffers from Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS) and in defiance of this progressive condition that has robbed him of both physical abilities and his voice, he has married twice, raised a family and become one of the most respected cosmologist’s of all time. He defied the prison of his own body and used his mind to create the life he imagined.

I’m not suggesting that every person can become as significant in their accomplishments as these individuals. I am suggesting that approaching the use of time with the right attitude and a lot of respect can improve anyone’s life condition.

My observation is that time is really static (in a theoretical sense) and it is we that are moving through it. The markers are the solid bodies of the universe…planets, earth, stars. Somewhere in between these solid bodies, there is space to be filled. Time resides in the floes of space and that is where we live, in time. When we come into the world, time has been here before us and when we go out time remains. In this sense, even when the world ends, time will remain. It is only the places, things and events of our own creation that we can not revisit because they are a temporary condition of a very specific place in time that depends entirely on our support. When we move on, they cease to exist in the way that we knew them. Time remains constant and waits for the next tenant.
Scientifically, these thoughts are probably flawed. I am not qualified to say. Philosophically, it makes a lot of sense to me. When you think of all of the gifts that God gave us, certainly time is among them.

So the problem we face is how to be a good tenant in this moment, on this day so that we don’t need to look back and regret what can’t be recovered. Looking forward is one way to cope; making plans for the future, envisioning the things that make you happy and that you are willing to spend your time working to get. By things I mean literally everything that you can imagine…faith, love, relationships, education, money and possessions that mean something to your life. Remembering your past is one thing that can help you prepare for the future, but the trick is to remember it in a useful way as your history. Never limit your dreams for the future by what time holds in your past.

Daily use of a portion of your time to build a future is the only way to ensure a vision. If you would be a singer, sing. If you pursue excellence in your field, strive to perfect. There is no surer path to the goal. If you have obstacles to overcome, exercise your mind and your heart daily by practicing hope, faith and confidence until you climb the mountain, even if the climb is steep and rocky. God is always with you and the place that you are in at this very moment is the place you need to be to realize His purpose for you.

Now there is the moment; the very moment that we are living. What can be done to make it count? I have come to the realization that at least for me, all moments have equal weight in time. Some are filled with elation, some with sorrow, a few with regret, most with love and all with a lingering sense of not being a finished product. Each moment is important, each is a gift to be respected and spent in thoughtful consideration of its value.

Does this mean that every single breath I take must be dedicated to some higher purpose or all is lost? No. It means that I must deliberately determine how to bring value into the space that is mine. I can choose to sleep because it is a pleasurable experience that refreshes my mind and my body. I can choose to read or study, to do the dishes or mop the floors, to call a friend or help a neighbor. I can choose to express my love to the people who are the core of my life, to nurture my garden or to attend to my health. I can choose to relax and just take the time to look around at what my life is right now.

The point is that time is a commodity as solid as a bank account and it works much the same way. What you put in, you get out with interest. Like the bank account, what we can put in is limited by our own resources. The checks we write against our time account won’t bounce, but unwisely spent, they will sap our physical, mental and psychological reserves until they are a shadow of the potential that resides in us from birth.

As usual I have some advice, given with a light but very serious heart.

There is honor in all of the things that you do that are sightly before God and that support or enhance your happiness and well being in this life.

Take time to pray. Even if you don’t hear God’s voice, His will is with you.

Comparing or judging is a waste of precious time that you could use to love or encourage.

You can affect another person’s whole life by a simple word or smile at the right moment.

You should never shape your life to mirror someone else’s standard; creating your own standard is a life’s work. If your life looks too much like someone else’s, whose is it?

This moment does count and it can never be recovered if you change your mind or ignore it.

You are never a finished product and can always use work.

Forgive yourself and move on when you make a mistake.

Stop and smell those proverbial roses, even if it’s on your way to work.

Make the time for all people and things worth your time.

Be in the moment.

Concrete Dreams

Concrete Dreams

Dreams are both the fabric of imagination and the breeding ground for emotional chaos. The reasons people are so captivated by dreams are that:

a) You never know what you are going to get, and
b) There are no lies in dreams.

One could argue about b), or say that imagination is in fact a lie. Having given this subject considerable thought, I say that we don’t have enough control to lie to ourselves in a dreaming state, so every dream contains essential truth. Item a) is indisputable. Even in biblical times dreams came as confusing bites of information that wanted interpretation.

In my lifetime my dreams have changed dramatically. Childhood dreams were fanciful images of what I would be as an adult, how I would act, who would be in my life. During my teens I remember darker dreams of uncertain futures, strangers and untenable situations. As a mother I dreamed of my children, of their future, of my work and of where these things were leading me. As a woman alone I dreamed of possibilities, but feared the probabilities more and it affected my sleep severely. As a mature adult, my dreams are more like prayers for the future and are seldom very personal. There are occasional dreams of regret and sorrow, but mostly I am at peace and just want the world to take this journey with me.

One theory I’ve heard is that we do not dream in color. Mine, good or bad, are in Technicolor and on large screen. They are real, vivid and emotional and I believe they affect my psyche, at least for a short while. If I am afraid or think I’m being watched for example, I can wake up literally paralyzed and holding my breath…unable to talk or scream until my brain re-establishes my location and situation. If I am dreaming of the good things in my family, I will wake refreshed and be in a loving and giving mood. If the dream is scattered and disassociated from real people and places, I find that my day can be affected by this disorganization of thought. If the dream is creative and imaginative I find myself searching all day for the root substance so that I can put it into action.

My weirdest dreams are of numbers and solutions to puzzles of one sort or another. It’s like a full day’s work to get through these because they are literally “working” dreams. If I have a problem in life or need to think through a series of possible outcomes for a situation, you can bet that “sleeping on it” will provide the answer.

These are the dreams that are out of our control. They are motivated by an accumulation of events, experience, psychological anomalies and personal needs that are too complicated for Freud, much less an armchair thinker like me. While I will continue to delve into my own dreams, I would not dare venture into yours.

There is another kind of dream though. I call it the waking dream. This is the one where we are fully awake and aware of our surroundings. It is also a knowing dream; one where it is fully possible to control what the dream is about and where it goes. It is a concrete dream in that it is possible to mold the dream into reality.

The concrete dream is one that you choose carefully, that you love to think of and that you want to be a part of your life enough that you will commit fully to the things that need to be done to make it reality. It is a marriage to self that includes a vow that you will see the dream through to its ultimate conclusion. It is an inspiration worth holding close to your heart and it has value to your future. This dream has so much significance that you can not be swayed by inconveniences, delays or the allure of switching destination. It is a dream that you first hope, then plan, then put into action; one that you complete and one that produces a tangible product or achievement that you can see, touch and feel. It is a visualization of what your life can and will be with the dream realized. Although it can be inspired or supported by outsiders, like family or friends, it can not be changed in any way by their doubts or disbelief. It belongs to you.

The dream can be simple and short term or extremely complicated and long term. It can be artistic, educational, creative, faith-based or goal inspired. The key is that it must create happiness not only in the completion, but in the making because that is what keeps it concrete. If you want to be a good baker, you have to love to cook. If you want to be a good lawyer, you must understand and revere the law. If you want to create an environment, you need a space to fill. Dreams are the same.

These dreams are different than your sleep dreams in two ways:

1. You always know what you are going to get.


2. You are responsible for creating the truth in this dream. It comes from your cognizant self.

If, like me, you are a person who learned the wrong lessons about dreams early in life, you may be a late achiever. I thought that high-minded hopes were for other people who were more equipped by money or birth to get what they wanted in life. More significantly, I was taught to methodically deny myself any dream that did not fit in the smallness of my current life and to accept what is rather than fighting for what should be. This was not sabotage, but a way of coping that is common to many people without significant resources to change their circumstance. Do not be undermined by this mind set. Resources become apparent with the advancement of your goals. You can and will find ways to make your life what you want it to be if you start with reality and build on it one step at a time.

Keeping your head and heart in reality while you hold the dream together is the hardest part. Our situations in life are as varied as the stars at night. Some of us will give up a great career that we hate to change his/her lifestyle, some will step down from the limelight to lift up the hearts of others, some will start many times because the goal is not defined or they are trying to fulfill someone else’s vision. Some will start from an abyss and will have to have the strength to ask for help along the way. Many will never understand. No one will ever achieve a single dream without taking the challenge step by step and embracing each small victory. If you want to paint a masterpiece, learn to draw a box first…get some perspective. Celebrate, but don’t get stuck on the box, put something in it, give it color, create a background, frame it and hang it, observe and enjoy it. Choose every aspect of the object. Choose your dream and choose your path; you will be living a concrete dream before you know what happened.

Rain and Renewal

Rain and Renewal – January 2006

I woke up this morning to the sound of a down-pouring rain here in Texas. Lord what a wonderful sight! It is perhaps the end of a terrible drought that tendered wildfires, drained water resources and robbed many small town West Texas residents of their homes and livelihood.  I thank God for this wet reprieve.  It’s funny how a dreary, wet day can be such a glorified blessing under the right circumstance.

Rain is a universal symbol of cleansing and renewal. This rainy day is symbolic for me as well.  I have been suffering from writer’s block (otherwise known as lack of inspiration, or laziness, or perhaps a little depression) for a couple of weeks now.  I’ve been on a roller coaster of emotional highs and lows, mostly having to do with family issues, but some admittedly caused by spiraling middle-age hormone imbalances. Something about the fresh, clean sheets of water falling from the sky put my mind back into drive space and lifted my heart once again.

From our office window I see green peeking out of the dried brown winter grass and new leaves on the bottom of all the perennials in the garden.  The sidewalks and driveway appear washed and shiny with glistening water.  I can smell the freshness, even inside the house. Opening the door brings a waft of cool, fresh, oxygenated air that smells like spring.  Mind you, it’s only the 28th of January, so this is a very welcome sensation. It’s also a reminder that God is always there for us and reveals Himself in the details of our every day lives.  We just need to open our eyes and breathe to realize His presence.

I believe that the Creator’s gifts are always in our midst, but the choice of how to use them is ours.  The field is there to cultivate, but if you leave it fallow and fail to plow and plant, no crop will grow.  The field will still be there, will still be a piece of creation, will still have it’s own serenity and beauty; but the point will be missed and it’s usefulness will be diminished by a lack of understanding by men. The miracle of faith for me is that God continues to give and to uphold the promise He gave us through the blood of Christ.  

Regardless of faith, or the lack of faith, one must subscribe to the reality that the state of our lives is interdependent on the state of our mind and heart.  What we do, where we go, who we choose as associates, what we give up to others, how we act out the challenges of life and how much of ourselves we are willing to invest to create value in our lives are the ingredients that act together as a formula for success or failure.  The good news is that unlike a failed cake recipe, you get to change this mix as often as you wish during your lifetime.  The decision to change in a positive direction is the refreshing, renewing rain in our lives.

One could argue that this is a statement of privilege and that circumstances often prevent people from realizing what is in their heart.  I am the last to deny that difficult circumstances can affect progress. However, it is true that, even in the direst of circumstance, you are able by your own power to uplift what is in your mind and your heart. You have the ability to reject failure, deny sin, create and practice your values, be a friend, worship, educate and edify yourself through the simplest of actions.  That action is to use your mind and your heart in its fullest capacity for every decision you make.  

Wherever you are and whatever you are doing, invest in your future by investing your greatest personal resource, which is your ability to think and feel, into a daily plan for improvement. Even the smallest of actions toward the direction of your heart will take you toward your goals. A prayer, a letter, a phone call you need to make, research for knowledge that will help your cause, kindness or help given to a stranger and even a simple smile are steps toward a better life.  If you do this, your circumstance will become a product of who you have become and it will change dramatically in a positive direction.

When you come in out of the rain, I wish you renewal and happiness with God’s blessing.

Sorrow

Like everyone, I have my dark moments.  This week a number of things happened that wreaked havoc on my emotions.  I’m not ready to write about all of them here, but I will tell you that they were aggravated by thoughts of personal losses (which we all have).  This year is the 20th anniversary of my mother’s death, the 10th anniversary of my father’s death and my brother would have been 50 on January 20th if he had not passed away in 1991 at only 35.  I also lost my first husband in 1970 when he was only 27.  They were all far too young to go.

While it’s ok to miss them, it’s not ok to still be angry.  I’ll confess that I still am angry though, in spite of strong faith and many, many other wonderful things in my life.  I miss their humor, their love, their counsel and their presence.  This is especially true when things go wrong because I counted on them and they on me.  Thank God for my husband and the rest of my family who support and love me unconditionally.

For those of you who have sustained losses and who sometimes feel the inevitable stinging touch of sorrow, I offer the following:

Sorrow

Sorrow comes creeping on padded paws;
waiting to spring her cruel surprise.

Sorrow comes calling and never knocks;
or whispers warning of the purpose she bears.

Sorrow comes raging like a rising flood;
drowns a mind and clinches a heart.

Sorrow comes sailing on blackened wings;
a storm cloud full of poisoned dreams.

Sorrow comes and Sorrow goes;
and Sorrow leaves her indelible mark.

Her shadow resides in the hearts of all;
in a chamber reserved for unspeakable truths.

Sorrows forever an unwelcome stranger;
in the realm of lightness, wonder and peace.

Paula J. Roberts
©1/18/2006
God bless and keep you and yours.  Lightness, wonder and peace next time!

rockingrama

Resolution 2 Be Healthier

Resolution #2 – Be Healthier

The second in a series of commentaries on personal resolutions for the New Year

“Love more, be healthier, forgive generously,
exercise patience and last but most importantly
build a legacy of kindness.”
Rockingrama - 2006

So, how do I go about “being healthier”?  There are some obvious answers that have to do with the human struggle to stay fit.  Some of these are diet, exercise, good sleeping habits, safe behavior and keeping on top of your regular doctor’s appointments.  

It’s hard in these busy times to make time for yourself.  It’s even harder to take guilt free time to take care of your health and well being.  Women are especially guilty of putting off their needs under the guise of being far too occupied with the welfare of others.  We tend to think we will get to ourselves later, but the later becomes later and later and fades to never or hardly ever.  As a result, the problems we experience are often much more complicated than they would have been if we had just made and kept a promise to ourselves to be healthier by paying close attention to our bodies and our personal needs.

My mother died of cancer in 1986.  I am remembering this today partly because of the subject matter, but mostly because she’s been gone from our lives for 20 years now.  She was 56 when she died (I am 58 now) and she missed so many important things she should have had the opportunity to enjoy.  My children growing to adulthood, companionship with her adult children, opportunities to grow in her own life….gardens to grow, places to go, love to express, faith to nurture and confidences to share.  She has been dearly missed and I know she is bringing joy to heaven.

Mom was a smart, lively small framed woman who worked hard all of her life.  She was never overweight, but she was a smoker and loved her beer.  She loved to have a good time, loved to do for others, but always put her self last.  When her shoulder began to hurt her and wouldn’t let up in October of 1985, she finally relented to a doctor’s appointment, but it was too late.  Her cancer was inoperable and was metastasized to most of the organs in her body.  Everything possible was done for her, but nothing was enough at that late date.

I’m telling you about her death because I want to make the point of how important your well-being is to every plan you have in this life, including the plans you have for being here to do for others.  People in the advanced stages of ill health and those who have already passed on are not able to do any of the things that we use as excuses to put off our reasonable and necessary routine for wellness.  We are responsible for keeping our bodies as fit as possible and no one else can do it for us.

Confession time: I am especially sensitive to this because I’m as guilty as anyone in procrastinating about the obvious.  I am at this moment overdue for my dental cleaning, needing to make an annual appointment for a mammogram and annual check up and putting off a much needed visit to an Orthopedic Surgeon to schedule a left knee replacement (the right one was done in 2003).  My exercise routine (I’m laughing), goes to hell in a hand basket at the slightest disruption and my diet habits range from severe to chaotic to anything goes.  My weight has been out of control for years now and if I do not take strict and serious measure to control it, I will be on that sick or dead list we’ve been talking about.

Thinking seriously about all of this is only the first step.  I tried to diet last fall and took off 10 pounds, which had dwindled to 6 by the time we were through the holidays.  So I’m back not quite at square 1, but still at the beginning of a new way of thinking about food and lifestyle that will extend and enhance my opportunities to enjoy the rest of my life in good health.  

I think that in the end, good health is what it’s all about.  It’s not about being a size 5, 7 or 9 (even though that would be nice); it’s about enjoying all life has to offer and being able to participate fully.  While this may seem like settling for something less, I think that it’s really about finally growing up and realizing your place in life and what it will take to make you function in a way that is pleasing to yourself and to the people you love.  If your body is growing at a greater rate than your mind, you need to get busy building your mind and minimizing the things that are causing the weight. I have a diet journal that I share in a different section, so for now my thoughts on this are generalities.

So I have a plan for diet and exercise.  The plan includes partners.  My sister and my cousin, who find themselves in similar situations and are close to the same age, have agreed to collaborate with me on changing our nutrition habits this year.  We are all following diets that we feel to be healthy for our own needs and we are in touch once a week to discuss weight loss, gain, problems etc. so that we aren’t doing this alone.  I think it’s an important step and one that will lead to success.  These are people that I care about and who care about whether I’m around to enjoy life with them.  Their participation gives me a reason to take responsibility for the words I say and the food I eat.  

Exercise is a whole other bag of problems for me with bad knees and minimal motivation, but I do have a plan.  The plan is to walk 3x a week in the mornings and swim 2 to 3x a week on alternate days.  I have no excuse to put off either since we have a health facility right here in our community and plenty of walking trails.  If I can get in this habit, I’m hoping to add a 30 to 45 minute fitness routine to the swimming days.  Once a month has passed, I’ll let you know more about how this and the diet are going.

Sleep has been an ongoing problem for me for years.  I can’t pinpoint when I started sleeping so few hours, but I’m sure it was in the early eighties.  That’s a long time with sleep deprivation, so if you think I’m a little nuts when you read these blurbs, there may be substance in your assumption.  For the last few weeks, I’ve been following a strict guideline to get in bed whether I feel sleepy or not by midnight at the latest.  Although it’s not sequential, I think I’m getting about 5 or 6 hours of sleep now.  I try to stay in bed until 8 so that I’m resting even if I’m not sleeping.  Perhaps with better habits, I will sleep more of the time that I am there. It’s much better than the 4 or so I was getting most of the year.

Last but not least, I think that optimal health is dependent on continuous development of your mind and skill sets. I believe that the most important of these is the ongoing enforcement and development of the practice of your faith.  God requires this commitment of us above and beyond anything else that we may do in life.  Concentrate on your life of faith, and then look at how you can expand your capabilities in life by adding to your knowledge and learning new and better ways to live your life.  A full life is characterized by satisfaction of the soul, the mind and the body and we naturally thirst after all of these.  You are never too young, too old, too fat, too dumb or too smart to add more knowledge, more activity and more life to your living. Identify at least one thing every year that you want to learn or improve and spend time making it happen.  

The quest for “happiness” can be a shallow run if you don’t define what happiness is for you.  In my view, happiness is tied to all of the things above in different ways, but mostly to the people that I love and who need me to be around for them.  When I am busy trying to make my goals happen, I don’t have time to be unhappy. Getting results makes me beam.  Whatever your goal is…however you define it, go for it.  You will make God smile.  I’m sure of it.

If you would like to share a goal, leave a comment.  I’d love to hear how you are doing and share thoughts on how we can do better together.

Paula

Resolution #1 Loving More

Earlier in the week, I spoke of resolutions and left you with the following thoughts:

My list for 2006 is short. Love more, be healthier, forgive generously, exercise patience and last but most importantly building a legacy of kindness. I wish all these things and more for you. More on the legacy idea in another post!

When I started to write about the goals, I realized that each one was a subject of importance on it’s on, so I’m going to break this into 5 posts.

Resolution #1 – Loving More

Sometimes my heart is so full that I wonder whether it’s possible to love more. It hasn’t always been that way. There have been times when rejection, depression, circumstances and attitude have robbed me of the capability to love, which in my view is an act of giving coupled with an ability to accept the love that is given to you without redefining what it should be. I have found that an empty heart craves the company of no one, cherishes little and has a short memory for the charity and good will of others.

It is impossible to love unless you fill your heart with the things in life that endure. God, family, friends, community and nature are paramount among these. Even though all of us have a time in life when work dictates most of our waking hours; even that must be tempered with the things you hold dear. Otherwise, what purpose does the work fulfill except for existence? What a sad thing it is when existence is the only purpose of productivity.

If you want to work with joy, think about the purposefulness of what you are doing…supporting your family, filling a need for your employer, or the broader aspect of what is accomplished or built by the work you are engaged in. Never despair, always persist, change when you must, but always carry your love with you through all that you do. It will sustain you in the worst of times and encourage you to do your very best always.

I pledged to love more this year with all of these things on my mind. I also made that promise to myself knowing that at this time in my life, this is the easiest goal to meet. I am surrounded by love from my family…my husband, four children and six grandchildren and two more (twins) on the way this year, extended family who are involved in my life now that we have retired to Texas, friends from church and from my neighborhood and the many cherished relationships of both my husband’s life and mine that come from the past and endure through the present.

The birth of the twins, without any added effort, will make my promise come true for this year. I already love them and I’m ready for them to come into my life and share experiences with me. I have not been as close as I would like to my other grandchildren, who are almost grown, because of distance and circumstance and I very much want this to work out differently. Being a positive presence in their little lives will give me a lot of joy.

There is more though. I want to carry the responsibility of my love. Feeling love and declaring it are the easy parts. Committing yourself to daily, purposeful action that validates and strengthens the bonds of love is more at the heart of the matter. Being a real Christian according to Christ’s calling requires more than the act of baptism, it requires that you give daily consideration to your actions and to the needs of others and that you attend to them. Love is the same.

In closing, I just want to say that relationships are fragile and people are vulnerable. Our time is limited and precious and we can’t be sure that everyone we love will be here when it’s convenient to show our love. If love feels like a risk to you, my advice is to take the risk. Write the letters you meant to write, make the calls that keep you connected, archive your memories for future generations and most importantly, wear your love where it can be seen and felt. Nothing is ever lost by giving love away and everything is gained.

I wish you all the love your heart and mind can hold in this New Year and forever.

Paula

As a bonus…here is my favorite perspective on love.

1 Corinthians 13

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.

If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.

Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

A Brand New Year... Resolution or Revolution?

A Brand New Year…Resolution or Revolution?

Hello again.  It’s good to be back! This is my first post after an extended holiday from posting my little encouragements, but I’m back and excited to get started again.  I missed all of you during the holidays and hope they were truly blessed for you.  For me, the biggest blessing of the holidays was my oldest daughter’s announcement that she is expecting twins this year!  What a great surprise, two more grandchildren due early August.

As 2006 goal lists are being lost, misplaced and forgotten (after all, it’s been 3 days!), I want to encourage you to think again before you pass by this opportunity for a new start.

Traditional rituals are common this time of year. One day passes and we are into a new year and out with the old.  Celebrations, wine tipping, annual phone calls to distant friends and family along with holiday time to think about how the New Year might look for you are great ways to spend the time.  We do all of these things, although I have given up going out in the yard at midnight armed with pot lids and pans and making racket to bring in the New Year (a nutty childhood memory).  My husband and I did stay up to ring in the year with a hug, kiss and promise to be there for each other always.  

Prayer is part of new beginnings as well, and our prayers are for grace, for world peace, for soldiers away from home, for food for the hungry and shelter for all.  Getting closer to home, we think and pray about family concerns and cares and for the health and well being of parents, siblings, children and grandchildren. We also ask for God’s guidance, love and care in our own everyday lives.  

When all of this is said and done, I like to think about the functional parts of my life.  That is, those things that require commitment and action on my part, or a significant change.  I make the usual list of resolutions…usually mentally, because they seem so similar from year to year.  I reflect on what went right and what went wrong with trying to keep myself on track in the previous year.  It’s a good process, but I think that we often miss the point.

A resolution is only as good as the plan we make to carry it through.  The plan is only as good as our daily action.  We have to effect real changes in behavior and thought patterns to make a resolution worth the effort of the list.  Most importantly, the idea is to commit for the full time it takes to carry the idea through, even if the time extends beyond this year, the next, or the next. If you want to learn a new language, it isn’t going to happen between now and 10 days from now when you wad up the paper and put it in the trash bin.  On the other hand, a resolution becomes a life changing revolution when you keep the promises you made in your heart.

Change is a joyous and life renewing process, but it is a terrible thing to set yourself up for failure, so be sure that you are putting realistic goals in motion.  If you need support, find it.  There are all kinds of resources online and in print, community groups and activities where you can get involved, tons of places that need volunteers, classes waiting for students, trails waiting to be walked. Look around in your own environment for support as well.  Your husband or wife, a sister or brother, someone from your church or your community needs a partner in supporting goals just as much as you do. I got lucky this year and my sister and my cousin are both dieting, so we are there to talk, share recipes and concerns and plan a reward for our success this year.

My list for 2006 is short. Love more, be healthier, forgive generously, exercise patience and last but most importantly building a legacy of kindness. I wish all these things and more for you.  More on the legacy idea in another post!

Have a great 2006.