Post Thanksgiving 2005

This post is derived in part from a personal letter I sent to a friend who wrote us with some kind wishes over the Thanksgiving holiday. After reading it through a second time, I thought there was some meat (not turkey) to the experience. As always, I'm sharing a little piece of my life with you. I hope it makes you feel good about your own blessings.

My husband and I spent our time in Olathe, Kansas, where Bill's father (who is 96) lives in an assisted living facility called Aberdeen that is owned by the Presbyterians. Although Joe is doing well, we are increasingly concerned about his welfare and happiness since his wife died recently. He seemed glad to see us and was able to get through a couple of hours of spirited conversation about things and people past that he and Bill had experienced in common. He tires easily though, and by the time we got through dinner and a few minutes of the Macy's parade in his room, Joe was ready to go to bed. I guess that he spends about 2/3 of his time "resting" these days.

Joe was 85 when Bill and I married and still quite vital. A retired physician who believed in keeping fit, he walked daily and played 9 holes of golf unless the weather would not permit it. He and his wife Ruth traveled extensively. In the ten years that Bill and I have been married, they did a Baltic Rivers Cruise, went to New Zealand twice, did a Princess cruise to the Western Caribbean with us and another with Ruth's family, made several trips to the East Coast for Joe's Dartmouth reunions and visits to family and did another cruise in the Canadian Rockies. Both of them were Christians and were actively involved in church. They had a productive and wonderful life.

About 2 1/2 years ago Joe started to slip a bit mentally and was having a really hard time physically with walking. Now it is difficult for him to get from the wheelchair to the bed. He and Ruth decided to give up their home in Arizona when it became apparent that he would need more care. They moved to Kansas to be near Ruth's family and that's how they ended up at Aberdeen. He has wonderful care and has made friends there, but we still are concerned for him. He is too frail to move at this point. He also appears to be quite happy and comfortable. We went about 1500 miles (round-trip) to spend 5 hours with him and to let him know that no one has forgotten him and that he is loved.

The reason for telling this little story is to express how thankful we are for our lives at this point. It is also an illustration of how time tricks us into the future. I think it is so vitally important to live every day in the best possible way...to enjoy your family, to cherish your marriage and to participate in meaningful friendships while you can. These will be the memories you hold on to the longest in your old age and the ones that will sustain you through the end of your life and any troubles that cross your path. These opportunities are also the reality of the present and can not be recaptured once they are lost.

This year I am thankful for many of the normal things that cross one's mind at Thanksgiving, but I am especially thankful for our time with Joe. I am also thankful for being here at this special time (retirement) in my life and that God has allowed us resources and health to enjoy for a season.

I hope that you are equally blessed.

A Moment to Consider the Pandemic Effect of AIDS

The following link from World Vision http://worldvision.sitestream.com/WorldAidsDay/AidsTest.html?Open&campaign=1215191&cmp=EMC-1215191 will take you to a self test on your knowledge of AIDS and current conditions in the world that stem from this pandemic disease.

The number of human beings affected by HIV/AIDS are staggaring and they will continue to grow unless we practice individual awareness and share knowledge with our world community. Please take a moment to update yourself and to find out some simple ways that you can help spread awareness.

This is a subject dear to my heart. I lost my younger brother Jack to AIDS in December of 1991 after a 4 year battle with the illness. Jack was 35 years old. He was a displaced Texan with a distinctively southern mixed sense of humor and cynicism who lived and worked in Colorado most of his adult life. He was also an extraordinarily kind and empathatic individual with a quick smile and an encouraging word for everyone he knew. He was a loyal friend, a faithful follower of Nicheren Shoshu Buddhism and a hopeful dreamer for both his future and the future of humankind.

Some of Jack's favorite things were the mountains in Colorado, spending time with friends, roller skating, country and western dancing, music and movies. One of my favorite memories of Jack is two-stepping with him to a live country band in a Denver bar. Jack loved warm and bright things and hated to be cold. He was once a championship roller skater, who for a time taught disco skate dancing in New York City.

Knowing how and when to share with others was Jack's special gift. His early death left a tremendous void in the lives of his family and friends. I am asking for your awareness in his memory.

There are many ways to help, including prayer for those affected, keeping yourself safe and free from infection, educating your family and peers and by sharing your annual gifts to charitable funds with the American Foundation for AIDS Research (amfAR) www.amfar.org or other local support organization of your choice.

Be educated, practice abstinence or safe sex, be tested, be well.

I know that my brother would be grateful for your support. So am I.

Thanksgiving and Hopeful Wishes for Family

Thanksgiving has always been one of my favorite holidays because the focus is on the gathering of families and sharing long honored traditions. The turkey and other culinary delights are very special, but the real meat is in seeing, touching and speaking with family members and close friends.

Just like we make a list of resolutions on New Year’s, I like to make a list of things I am thankful for this time of year. Here is my list:

Ø I am thankful to God for all the blessings I have been given, for the light of day, the peace of night and the assurance of His love.

Ø I am thankful for my family, each and every one, with their unique special gifts and the home that they have in my heart. I am thankful for every blessing that they have received in their lives and hopeful for their future.

Ø I am thankful to have lived to see my grandchildren and be a part of their life.

Ø I am especially thankful for my husband, who has been steadfast and supportive through many difficult times and who shows his love in all that he does for me and my family.

Ø I am thankful for the financial blessings I have received and for the home and lifestyle that they provide for me and my husband at this time in our life.

Ø I am thankful to finally be at peace with my life and for the opportunity to help others find peace in theirs.

Ø I am thankful for community, for friendship, for fellowship and for a church home that provides strong support in Christ for my faith, my joys and my sorrows.

Ø I am thankful to be an American, to enjoy safety and well-being as much as it is possible anywhere on earth, and to have the explicit privilege of freedom which is so rare on this earth.

No family is perfect and all are in transition. Loving each other has never been an issue, but there have been some serious issues to overcome in mine and we are working diligently to be better and do better every single day. To this end, I also have a wish list that is highly personal and more specific to me, my husband and my 4 children. I've omitted names for the sake of privacy, but I want to share one family's concerns with you. Here are my top 7 for this year.

1. That both of my youngest daughters find freedom, peace and happiness in their lives; that their sorrow and regret become joy and happiness, and that their future is so bright that it overwhelms the problems of the past.

2. That my 3rd child is reunited with her children and released from her addictions and health issues. Also that her relationships sustain her in love and satisfy her yearning for family and home. That my three grandchildren by her continue to have faith, joy and sucess in their lives and that they enjoy wellness and prosperity in the coming year.

3. That my youngest child finds freedom from addictive behaviors and realizes the love her family has for her and that she is released from the past to pursue her future. Also that she finds special love in her life and a sense of true belonging.

4. That my oldest daughter becomes pregnant and is able to have the child she and her husband are hoping for in their lives now. That they continue to receive the blessings they so richly deserve, and that she finds work that is more satisfying and promising for her.

5. That my son remains happy and well in his family life and that he continues to grow in his faith and in the stewardship of his life and his home.

6. That my husband is blessed with increased wellness and suffers less with pain and disability and that he will find true happiness in our marriage.

7. That I am able to continue to provide support, love, kindness and encouragement to both my family and my friends. That I develop more patience, listen more carefully and forgive more easily with each year that passes.

That’s all for today. Whatever trials your family may have, try to have the best Thanksgiving possible. Let it be a day of forgiveness and renewal. Remember to thank God for your blessings and ask him for grace for your family. Make your own list of blessings and wishes, whether you choose to share them or not. It’s a great exercise in faith and love.

As an added bonus...I hope your team wins too!

The Real ID Act - Personal Commentary

I'm not big on forwarding email because the first thing I do when I get in my inbox is to delete all the stuff I know for sure I'm not going to read. However, on occasion something comes through that is either fun or thought provoking and I am inclined to pass it on. The following link came out of the blue from an old work buddy in New England, who got it who knows where. This one I chose to forward to my long list. The originator is the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU).

If you ever think about your privacy, as I do, then this will make you shake your head. It’s worth a listen and some thoughtful consideration about what the future of information technology could bring our way. Although there is some obvious humor here, I found it difficult to laugh too hard or too long. I am not soliciting any point of view, but think you should make up your own mind about whether to support the ACLU letter.
http://www.aclu.org/pizza/images/screen.swf

Here is an article with a broader view: http://search.msn.com/results.aspx?FORM=MSN8A&q=The+Real+ID+Act

This concerns legislation that has already been passed by Congress. The REAL ID Act was imbedded in an unrelated emergency appropriations bill targeted at military funding and was not passed on it's own merits. They didn't ask my opinion before the parade left the grounds. How the heck did this happen? Yikes! It's really scary that something so important can be attached to an unrelated agenda and then administrated to free citizens as Law.

How much do corporations, credit institutions, health organizations and the govenment really need to know about you?

• Is a single ID really a good idea?
• What makes this different from the Social Security Number that we are already required to have?
• Will this really keep terrorists or any other unsavory individuals from accessing our shores?
• Will this hurt us? If not, will it help us? How?
• What is the real cost of implementing and supporting this system?
• Who will reap profits from this system?
• How much authority does this usurp from state governments?
• Do you want your DNA stored in a government information bank? (not much choice now)
• How long will it be before they just imbed a chip in your head when you are born so that "they" can correct all your mistakes before you make them?
• Is there ANY limit to how the government can use this information, or future information they choose to require?
• Your tax records will certainly be linked to this ID, will your library card?
• How about your web identity(ies)?
• I wonder how hard it would be to implode dysfunctional individuals with a microchip?
• Does it matter? I think it does.

Clearly, I am skeptical. I find it way too controlling and I think it smacks of past cataclysmic government failures like McCarthyism and the J Edgar Hoover days. There are just too many holes for abuse of power and identity theft by those who administer the program.

Does anyone remember "THX1138", or am I just a relic? (rhetorical question) Maybe it was just fiction, but I don't want to end up in government issued pajamas running through a maze looking for myself while legally, but heavily medicated. Oh wait...that sounds a lot like waiting for government cheese, disability or medical entitlements like help with prescription drugs or flu vaccine.

Lord help us all. Only God remains the same, steady source of love and light. I think if He wanted His creatures inventoried, we would have had a better system to do it.

Opinions on the subject are both encouraged and welcomed!

3 Minute Reflections On A Semi-Geek Lifestyle

Being retired has only simplified my life in one aspect; working outside the home for someone else. I was afraid of being bored or uninspired but I find that the opposite is true. I can say no to almost all things boring or uninspiring and it is accepted without qualification by my peers. I still get up in the morning; I still work hard to meet goals. There are still deadlines, agendas, organizational problems, occasional meetings and financial obligations.

I’ve stopped mourning the paycheck (my husband has not) and tried to focus on quality of life instead. My time is spent on developing my faith, supporting my family, trying to help others, following my varied interests and caring for our health. It’s working for me.

There is a philosophy bite in Eastern religion that translates something like this: If you want to know the state of your life, sit still and look around you. Notice that this doesn’t say close your eyes and reflect on your situation, go to an expert and hash it out or be oblivious to the world. Nope. Sit still and look around you. Stop in your tracks, right here, right now, and take notice of what your senses perceive.

Since you are reading this, I assume you are at your personal workspace trying to accomplish a number of tasks, or just relaxing and taking in some mental stimulation. I suggest that you pull back from the keyboard, take a deep breath and take a full three minutes to assess this moment in your life. If you are anything like me, 3 minutes can be an eternity when forced to concentrate on things you normally take for granted.

Turn 360 degrees, slowly. What do you see: order, chaos, pride, neglect, family, unfinished projects, cleanliness? What do you smell? (I’ll let you go there alone!) What do you hear: music, sounds of nature, quietness, the faucet dripping? The last and perhaps the hardest question is how do you feel about what you see. Does your space please you? Are there things there that put you in danger? Is it a palate that needs more paint, or perhaps less? Does it reflect who you are or just what you have? Is there too little or too much in your life? If you could change just one thing, what would it be? How would it make a difference?

One of the ways that I start a donation box is to stand in each room of the house and carry out a similar exercise. Things that have outlived their usefulness will pop out at you and shout to be recycled. Just remember that the stuff you haven’t used or enjoyed for a long time may be just the thing that fills a need for someone else. That set of pillows you bought that really doesn’t match your sofa, dishes you haven’t used for an eternity, clothes you haven’t worn for a full season or art that really doesn’t suit your home or your taste can give great joy to another person. If you do this once a quarter, there will be a point when everything you have is actually something you want. What a concept.

From my desk, the three minutes look like this. I have a wall of photos behind my desk filled with people I love or have loved in my life. Sitting directly in front of these folks is a big oak desk that is absolutely covered with personal items and project materials. There’s a stack of tech, cooking and design magazines, the mystery novel I’m currently reading and an LLC manual, a basket full of downloaded web materials, current business papers and files in progress.

There is a wooden box full of note cards, stamps and other correspondence supplies, a stack of “attention this week” mail stuffed under the foot of my flat screen monitor, a photo box of about 2000 family photos that I am in the process of archiving, a CD tower with my “essential” program files and favorite current music CDs and a plethora of personal items including a manicure kit, PDA, sticky note holder and a big banker style desk lamp next to the wireless phone, linksys receiver and pen caddy. I have two physical calendars that I keep besides the Outlook calendar on the desktop, and none of them are synchronized.

The drawers are full of art supplies, note cards, specialty papers, and other computer supplies. A separate table with a shelf holds the all-in-one printer, fax, copier, which is choked for space with supplies and manuals. Behind me, there’s an entire bookshelf (4’x 8’, 7 shelves) dedicated to computer books and original software boxes, except for one shelf of bibles and religious materials.
I’m laughing now because I realize that the last 3 paragraphs are way out of bounds and that I couldn’t possibly detail even this small portion of my life in the 1000 words or less that I usually allow myself for these commentaries. The sentence structure also reveals a lot about my personality and I’m not sure I intended to open up that can of malarkey.

If I had my meals brought to me and a pillow to throw on the top of this desk, I could actually keep myself busy for about 20 years without getting bored. If I turn my head to the left and look through the French doors, I can see more of my life…the home for which I have stewardship, my cat “Queenie” looking for food and scratches, the yard beyond, ready for late fall cleanup and pampering. Behind me, sitting at another large roll-top oak desk is my husband, who is really the number 1 priority on my earthly agenda. To my right, a large window reminds me of all the great possibilities beyond the front door. It’s about 72 degrees outside and a walk, a swim or a visit to the fitness center would be perfect today.

I think it’s important to do these little assessments so that you can get a real time snapshot of how you are spending your most precious commodity, time. A well equipped workspace, while it’s a good tool and an entertaining spot, is not a life. You can not fully experience the joy of real human contact online. You can’t exercise your mind or your body properly if the majority of your time is spent in front of a monitor. Although I value many of the contacts I’ve made online, the phenomenon of IM friends is not a satisfactory replacement for interaction with family, friends and neighbors.

For this reason, the message today is that we need to establish perspective and create guidelines for our lives based on the things that make us happy. To be happy, one must be balanced. That is a combination of faith, relationships, environment and health. The almighty computer, the TV, the Radio, and the incessant flow of mail are only tools to support our REAL life, which lies somewhere beyond their allure.

You are hearing this from a net and technology enthusiast who met her spouse online 11 years ago. We would never have met without this technology, and will be married for 10 years in April. He is still my daily light. This would not be a reality if we had not left the desk to participate in developing a real friendship and taken the time to sort reality from truth, play together in the real world, share our interests in real time and validate our feelings. So, play and work in cyberspace, enjoy your time there. Be very careful to live and take great delight in the solid realities of your life. There is sustenance there when the screen goes blank.

Well, Dell is at the door with the final box of goodies for my husband’s new computer. What timing! I’m the set-up pro here, so my exercise for the next day and a half will be crawling around on the floor, pushing the oak roll top in and out of place and suppressing expletives. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Be still, be well, be faithful, be kind;
be of a wholesome and generous mind.
Choose your path and try not to stray,
When friends are in need, call them today.
Encourage your peers, never be blind;
Strengthen your heart with the ties that bind.
Savor the moment and live in it well,
For moments are gifts with a story to tell.

Paula

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