Monday, March 21, 2005



On Uniqueness - March 2005

On the way home from shopping at the Garden store for bedding plants tonight, Bill and I witnessed a truly glorious sunset. There were all of the elements of a religious painting, color, rays of light streaming through an opening in the clouds, all of the colors of the rainbow, plus the added bonus of a towering thunderhead, the likes of which you only see in the southwest. It is no wonder there are so many romantic references to sunsets, skies, clouds and open spaces. I was completely captivated by the few moments this particular sunset was in my view.

There are so many other visual and sensual benefits to this magical time of day. My favorite is the way the twilight lengthens shadows and defines the edges of all things in nature providing a deep background for the sun to lay its silvery trace around the edges of our world. Or, on second thought, the kind of twilight that shines through a light rain making a mirror of each drop. Sometimes, on those rare days when the sun hangs low at the horizon and seems to actually grow as it disappears, the colors can be so bright they are blinding. Lately, we have the added benefit of seeing the moon rise while the sun sets. What a world this is. There has not been a single sunset in the millions of years that have passed on this earth that has been the same color, texture or form as another.

To add some context to this line of thinking about our singularity in nature, be reminded that our beloved earth is only a miniscule pinpoint within a multitude of galaxies abounding with suns, minor stars, black holes and planets so far away they are unknown to us and unreachable in our lifetime. Destinations filled with their own variations of chemistry and light.

Since I was already in the depths of wandering thought about the beauty at hand, I moved on to thinking about other things in our lives that follow this rule of nature. Witness the absolute uniqueness of every living thing on earth and the miracle gift of family, friends and acquaintances who keep our lives vibrant with their diversity. There is the gift we each have of a box seat view for the most important event we will experience on earth, our own unique and special life. Then, there is the gift of free will, the ability to change how we view life, people and things so that our own life and the lives of others will be better. Most importantly, there is God watching over us.

Like others, there are moments in my life that I regret, even to the point of woefulness and depression. I confess that I have often failed to use my gifts or my visions for the glory of God and my fellow man, and that doing so I have failed my family and friends. The good news is that through Christ I am forgiven, therefore I forgive, and this freedom opens my eyes and my heart for the future.

They say to “stop and smell the roses” in the sunset of your life. I say next time the sun rises or sets, take a moment right then to recognize the beauty all around you, and take special notice of the colors and textures within you. Do this no matter what your
position in life may be. Peace comes from truly knowing yourself and acknowledging the wonder of your life. Take joy in life, relish it, stay refreshed in it and share it with others. Love with absolute conviction. You are the guardian of your own health and happiness.

Wait till I tell you what I think about lightning!

Paula Roberts

www.rockingrama.blogspot.com
 Posted by Hello

Sunday, March 13, 2005

Gene Lyon, my Father at 17(and a note about loss)

The first time I saw this picture, I almost thought it was my younger brother, who died of Aids when he was 35. I never realized the striking resemblance he had to my father before. The next post is my father at about 38, in his prime, and the following is a poem I wrote about his passing at 69 from complications after heart surgery. Both of my parents and my brother are gone now, leaving me with only my younger sister in my core family. Although we know from a very early age that our family will be taken away (or that we will), we are always shaken and bewildered by the loss. There is no substitution for the love, kinship, shared experience and genetic heritage we share with family. This is true regardless of whether you grew up in a protected and totally safe environment or if there were disfunctional family experiences in your life. I am so fortunate and proud to still have my sister to share our family life. I cherish the moments when we are together and miss her when we are not. For me, the core value of a cherished family includes your peripheral family as well, aunts, uncles, cousins...all of those people who contributed to the fabric of the person you are at this moment in time. If you have people in your life that you've been meaning to call, visit or write, do it today. Make a memory.
Gene Lyon - Age 17 Posted by Hello

The Mortician (A tribute to my father)

His youth invested in the perfect end, he stood long at service;
diviner of Egypt's ancient spicy art,
reduced to the strictures of law and tradition.

The labor was humble and tedious,
seldom recognized, and short of recompense;
hardly the stuff of dreams fulfilled.

True, an invitation to his table never assured gourmet repast,
but impressive care was heeded,
lest one dishonor the guest.

Far too soon he too laid still, gravity inspired, warm out, cold in;
trussed, sewed and wired lest gusts should expire;
ensured of a holy and dignified exit.

Ensconced in familiar hues of wilted flora,
then covered with the familiar red dirt of home;
the man finally rests, while others wait.

In spite of reward denied on this earth,
bagpipes and drums resound in farewell;
'Hail Receiver of the Rites of Kings'.

Amen.

(c) 1997 Paula J. Roberts Posted by Hello

Tuesday, March 08, 2005


Lost Fisherman's Memorial - Peggy's Cove, NS Posted by Hello

The Garden at our Favorite B&B near Cambridge, ME Posted by Hello

NH Farmhouse Serenity, Near Dartmouth Posted by Hello

Late fall in New Hampshire Posted by Hello

NH Covered Bridge


A picture taken in New Hampshire near Dartmouth in late fall 2002. I wonder how many wanderers have passed under this bridge with their eyes full of the fall palate and their spirit souring from the warmth of the afternoon sun? Maybe it's a place where lovers met, artists painted or young friends conspired about a new adventure while they ducked in out of the rain. There's a lot of comfort in the sight of shelter worn by time. Too bad we are losing so many of these old and familiar landmarks. Posted by Hello

Monday, March 07, 2005

COURAGE

I’m thinking about courage today and how it is displayed all around us every single day. Although it sometimes happens, I’m not talking about the courage to run into fires and save lives or sacrifice your life for another. I have a quieter, more subtle variety in mind. The kind that we summon up through pure faith every morning to face what the day has to offer and use it in the best way we can to dignify our lives and the lives of others. The kind your neighbor or friend has when facing a death in the family or their own mortality. The faith that lifts our hearts and gives us pause about doing anything but what is right.

My husband, Bill, who I married 9 years ago is one of these quiet courageous people. He has been living with an advanced neurological disorder called Dystonia, which gives him a great deal of pain, for the past 48 years. He was diagnosed as a child of 12 with the Generalized Dystonia, the most serious and invasive form of the illness. The entire trunk of his body is affected. He is unable to stay still even for a moment and has to focus 10 times harder than anyone else to do even a simple task like reading the newspaper. He was in a wheelchair at one time in his life (age 19), had two brain surgeries to eliminate emerging symptomatic muscular control behaviors so that he could get up and walk again. According to Bill, it is a miracle that he walks. To me, Bill is the miracle.

In spite of all of the above, Bill managed to graduate Dartmouth College, complete some Medical School courses at Buffalo, NY, where he decided the profession was too difficult to handle with his condition. He went on to educate himself as a computer programmer, got a job in Boston with a reputable company and spent 32 years as a Software Engineer for that same company. During all of this time, he never applied for disability or asked for any special consideration for his condition except for a high backed chair to work in. He managed to save enough for a decent retirement by living in a small apartment most of his working life while contributing the maximum amount of his income to his retirement that was allowable by law. He never wavered in his diligence to do this.

Bill left his position 4 years ago when he lost some use of his right hand and was experiencing much greater issues with pain and short term memory. He is unable to write any lengthy notes and signing is difficult. Dressing takes a lot of time.

Bill never fails to ask me how I am in the morning, check to see if I’m feeling alright during the day and offer to help me with whatever I am doing. In spite of his difficulty with writing, Bill still sends out about 200 Christmas cards every year. I do not do this for him. He starts in early October and persists each day until he finishes his list, writing notes of encouragement and good cheer to all of his oldest and best friends. If you take the time to have a conversation with him, Bill is one of the best listeners and most compassionate people I’ve ever known. He is not quick to make decisions, but when he makes one he sticks to it with uncanny determination.

I’ve had the privilege of participating in Bill’s life for over 10 years now. He prays for people who are not as fortunate as he is, gives praise out loud every day for the good things in his life and wards off depression and discouragement with great vigor. He loves to play sneaky, but never mean jokes on his friends and is quick with a smile. He rarely utters a curse word and prefers not to watch movies with foul language or disrespectful behavior. He never misses church unless I want to play hookie…or I’m sick. He will get up at a moment’s notice and travel anywhere with me. Lastly, he loves me in a way that is so obvious that loving him back is the most natural thing on earth.

I used Bill as my example of quiet courage because he’s a good one and he’s close to me. If you look around you though, you will find hundreds of stories like his. Living courageously does not require extreme action, it requires consistency and the ability to think outside of yourself. Try to listen to your friend, your spouse, your neighbor and your co-workers and identify the courageous people in your life. They are your best source of encouragement to be the person you are meant to be.
Posted by Hello

For My Children - A Little History


This is posted here for my children, to remind them that I was once even younger (17 here) and more vulnerable than they are today. Life takes you in unexpected directions. My first husband Joseph was killed in an auto accident 5 years later after we parented 3 children. I have been married twice since and am blessed with a 4th child from my second marriage. As this site develops, there will be more about them, as they are my center. Whenever I look at old photos like this I try to think of what was on my mind at the time, who was in my life, what were the pressures and the joys of that time. We both had such high hopes and expectations. Both my head and my heart have grown in content since these days, but at a great price to both myself and my family. I appreciate and love them more than they will ever know. Posted by Hello

Sunday, March 06, 2005


Winter Water Scene Posted by Hello

Winter skies...Sun City, TX Posted by Hello

Midnight Walk

Midnight Walk
...by Paula Roberts (2000)

Liquid moonlight pourring a silver path,
lining the foliage with shimmering lace.
A fragrant bath,
concocted of dewdrops.

Webs teasing the bridal feast,
guarded by a weaver of certain doom.
A crafty beast,
skill perfected through ages.

Sounds emoting primal fear,
assessed and stored for a need yet defined.
A salty tear,
shed for incredible beauty.

Moments passing, sublime and objective,
blessed in existence and death.
Balanced perspective,
born of surviving the night.

Daylight breaking, veiling the magic,
steeped in concrete realities.
Sadly tragic
and filled with want for moonlight.Posted by Hello

Friday, March 04, 2005

On searching for "Home"

About "Home", when you read this, I'd be interested to hear if any of you have any "home rules" to add. I'm betting that you do. An excerpt from an earlier letter to my family follows:

I think that searching for home is a longing that is common for folks like us with scattered roots. I know it's been a preoccupation with me for most of my life...waiting for that one place that is both fulfilling to the soul and comfortable for the mind and body. The truth is that it is with you all the time, wherever you are. You only have to accept it. My opinion? (if you will allow me),"Home" is you. It's the totality of your human experience, dwelling in the environment you choose for it. I'm convinced that the reason God gave us a physical body is so that we can make and nurture our home anywhere on this earth. The most important room in that body is our mind, and we have to be strident in our quest to keep it clean, open and active, tempered by our heart...but most of all, satisfied with our relationship with God and the gift of life.

While it's true that some people have that one place that always smells like cookies, most people have a few cobwebs in the corners of their "home". And it's a good thing too! Where would we be with no spiders? Let them do their job, wonder at the miracle structure of the cobweb...but be careful to live most of your life on that open plane where all of the love, possibilities and faith abide. Get out a good stiff broom and sweep away at self doubt, hate, disappointment and blame...polish the floor and skate gleefully on the gleaming surface of your foundation.

Some of "Paula's Home Rules" :

Thank God for who you are, where you are.
Stay as healthy as it is humanly possible for you.
Do not dwell on things unaccomplished and places missed or lost.
Do not worry or fret needlessly. Learn the difference between healthy concern and worry.
Celebrate being here on earth every chance that you get.
Accept love, and give it back with all of your heart.
Fight like mad against hatefulness and jealousy.
Accept the differences of others.
Use your eyes to survey the beauty around you, use your hands to keep it beautiful.
Actively seek the company and friendship of others, be a good friend.
FOCUS on someone else at least once a day.
FORGIVE yourself. Forgive others. We are all struggling to be what we should. (Some have a greater challenge.)
Leave something behind, even if it's only your kindness to one other human being.


No matter how many times you fail, go back to the rules and start again. Do not give up.
When it's time to go, say goodbye, thank God for having been here, smile and leave with grace.
These are my rules and I know them by heart. It doesn't mean that you can look at me and I will be a perfect reflection of a well kept "home". It does mean that I've given a great deal of thought to it, and that the rules reflect my own view of how things "should" be. When things are going right, it all smells like those cookies to me.

Love,
Paula

Paula's Daily Blog

Hi...welcome to my BLOG...I am new at this, so patience is the word. Just getting set up today, so come back and look in a week or so. I'm sure that some of "my favorite things" will be here then. Till then...create your own blog...it looks like great therapy! Let's share. Meanwhile, here's a great site for daily inspiration and renewal. See you soon!
http://purposedrivenlife.com

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