Post Thanksgiving 2005

This post is derived in part from a personal letter I sent to a friend who wrote us with some kind wishes over the Thanksgiving holiday. After reading it through a second time, I thought there was some meat (not turkey) to the experience. As always, I'm sharing a little piece of my life with you. I hope it makes you feel good about your own blessings.

My husband and I spent our time in Olathe, Kansas, where Bill's father (who is 96) lives in an assisted living facility called Aberdeen that is owned by the Presbyterians. Although Joe is doing well, we are increasingly concerned about his welfare and happiness since his wife died recently. He seemed glad to see us and was able to get through a couple of hours of spirited conversation about things and people past that he and Bill had experienced in common. He tires easily though, and by the time we got through dinner and a few minutes of the Macy's parade in his room, Joe was ready to go to bed. I guess that he spends about 2/3 of his time "resting" these days.

Joe was 85 when Bill and I married and still quite vital. A retired physician who believed in keeping fit, he walked daily and played 9 holes of golf unless the weather would not permit it. He and his wife Ruth traveled extensively. In the ten years that Bill and I have been married, they did a Baltic Rivers Cruise, went to New Zealand twice, did a Princess cruise to the Western Caribbean with us and another with Ruth's family, made several trips to the East Coast for Joe's Dartmouth reunions and visits to family and did another cruise in the Canadian Rockies. Both of them were Christians and were actively involved in church. They had a productive and wonderful life.

About 2 1/2 years ago Joe started to slip a bit mentally and was having a really hard time physically with walking. Now it is difficult for him to get from the wheelchair to the bed. He and Ruth decided to give up their home in Arizona when it became apparent that he would need more care. They moved to Kansas to be near Ruth's family and that's how they ended up at Aberdeen. He has wonderful care and has made friends there, but we still are concerned for him. He is too frail to move at this point. He also appears to be quite happy and comfortable. We went about 1500 miles (round-trip) to spend 5 hours with him and to let him know that no one has forgotten him and that he is loved.

The reason for telling this little story is to express how thankful we are for our lives at this point. It is also an illustration of how time tricks us into the future. I think it is so vitally important to live every day in the best possible way...to enjoy your family, to cherish your marriage and to participate in meaningful friendships while you can. These will be the memories you hold on to the longest in your old age and the ones that will sustain you through the end of your life and any troubles that cross your path. These opportunities are also the reality of the present and can not be recaptured once they are lost.

This year I am thankful for many of the normal things that cross one's mind at Thanksgiving, but I am especially thankful for our time with Joe. I am also thankful for being here at this special time (retirement) in my life and that God has allowed us resources and health to enjoy for a season.

I hope that you are equally blessed.