Dreams are both the fabric of imagination and the breeding ground for emotional chaos. The reasons people are so captivated by dreams are that:
a) You never know what you are going to get, and
b) There are no lies in dreams.
One could argue about b), or say that imagination is in fact a lie. Having given this subject considerable thought, I say that we don’t have enough control to lie to ourselves in a dreaming state, so every dream contains essential truth. Item a) is indisputable. Even in biblical times dreams came as confusing bites of information that wanted interpretation.
In my lifetime my dreams have changed dramatically. Childhood dreams were fanciful images of what I would be as an adult, how I would act, who would be in my life. During my teens I remember darker dreams of uncertain futures, strangers and untenable situations. As a mother I dreamed of my children, of their future, of my work and of where these things were leading me. As a woman alone I dreamed of possibilities, but feared the probabilities more and it affected my sleep severely. As a mature adult, my dreams are more like prayers for the future and are seldom very personal. There are occasional dreams of regret and sorrow, but mostly I am at peace and just want the world to take this journey with me.
One theory I’ve heard is that we do not dream in color. Mine, good or bad, are in Technicolor and on large screen. They are real, vivid and emotional and I believe they affect my psyche, at least for a short while. If I am afraid or think I’m being watched for example, I can wake up literally paralyzed and holding my breath…unable to talk or scream until my brain re-establishes my location and situation. If I am dreaming of the good things in my family, I will wake refreshed and be in a loving and giving mood. If the dream is scattered and disassociated from real people and places, I find that my day can be affected by this disorganization of thought. If the dream is creative and imaginative I find myself searching all day for the root substance so that I can put it into action.
My weirdest dreams are of numbers and solutions to puzzles of one sort or another. It’s like a full day’s work to get through these because they are literally “working” dreams. If I have a problem in life or need to think through a series of possible outcomes for a situation, you can bet that “sleeping on it” will provide the answer.
These are the dreams that are out of our control. They are motivated by an accumulation of events, experience, psychological anomalies and personal needs that are too complicated for Freud, much less an armchair thinker like me. While I will continue to delve into my own dreams, I would not dare venture into yours.
There is another kind of dream though. I call it the waking dream. This is the one where we are fully awake and aware of our surroundings. It is also a knowing dream; one where it is fully possible to control what the dream is about and where it goes. It is a concrete dream in that it is possible to mold the dream into reality.
The concrete dream is one that you choose carefully, that you love to think of and that you want to be a part of your life enough that you will commit fully to the things that need to be done to make it reality. It is a marriage to self that includes a vow that you will see the dream through to its ultimate conclusion. It is an inspiration worth holding close to your heart and it has value to your future. This dream has so much significance that you can not be swayed by inconveniences, delays or the allure of switching destination. It is a dream that you first hope, then plan, then put into action; one that you complete and one that produces a tangible product or achievement that you can see, touch and feel. It is a visualization of what your life can and will be with the dream realized. Although it can be inspired or supported by outsiders, like family or friends, it can not be changed in any way by their doubts or disbelief. It belongs to you.
The dream can be simple and short term or extremely complicated and long term. It can be artistic, educational, creative, faith-based or goal inspired. The key is that it must create happiness not only in the completion, but in the making because that is what keeps it concrete. If you want to be a good baker, you have to love to cook. If you want to be a good lawyer, you must understand and revere the law. If you want to create an environment, you need a space to fill. Dreams are the same.
These dreams are different than your sleep dreams in two ways:
- You always know what you are going to get.
- You are responsible for creating the truth in this dream. It comes from your cognizant self.
If, like me, you are a person who learned the wrong lessons about dreams early in life, you may be a late achiever. I thought that high-minded hopes were for other people who were more equipped by money or birth to get what they wanted in life. More significantly, I was taught to methodically deny myself any dream that did not fit in the smallness of my current life and to accept what is rather than fighting for what should be. This was not sabotage, but a way of coping that is common to many people without significant resources to change their circumstance. Do not be undermined by this mind set. Resources become apparent with the advancement of your goals. You can and will find ways to make your life what you want it to be if you start with reality and build on it one step at a time.
Keeping your head and heart in reality while you hold the dream together is the hardest part. Our situations in life are as varied as the stars at night. Some of us will give up a great career that we hate to change his/her lifestyle, some will step down from the limelight to lift up the hearts of others, some will start many times because the goal is not defined or they are trying to fulfill someone else’s vision. Some will start from an abyss and will have to have the strength to ask for help along the way. Many will never understand. No one will ever achieve a single dream without taking the challenge step by step and embracing each small victory. If you want to paint a masterpiece, learn to draw a box first…get some perspective. Celebrate, but don’t get stuck on the box, put something in it, give it color, create a background, frame it and hang it, observe and enjoy it. Choose every aspect of the object. Choose your dream and choose your path; you will be living a concrete dream before you know what happened.
.JPG)
No comments:
Post a Comment