Rockingrama's Reflections Revived: Developing Personal Skills and Making Changes

Many of the posts on Rockingrama's Reflections are focused on growing as an individual. In fact the whole site is targeted at growing in faith, interpersonal skills, coping skills and the development of a full and satisfying life. The journal entries are highly personal and they are a combination of ideals that have been formed from three main areas: direct experience, education and personal opinion. For me it is a mission of mentoring for family, friends and any other individuals who just need a little encouragement or confidence to boost their day. If there's any reward in the writing, its from the occasional individual who stops to comment that one of the items helped in some small way.

The ideas are not the perspective of a trained psychiatrist, psychologist or social scientist. They are not intended as formula coaching or rigid sets of right and wrong. Rather, I hope that its more like having a talk about some of the common issues we experience as human beings with a trusted friend or family member over a good glass of wine. Some of the principles are so universal that it seems redundant to repeat them, but it is what we miss in life that hurts us, not what we've heard more than once.

While my opinion is that self-development is a key aspect of living a good productive life, it is important to have a clear understanding of why we strive to be better all the time. There are questions to be asked. Such as, what would be the harm if we didn't work so hard to change? Is it healthy to always want to be something different than what you are? Is there a point in life where you graduate from this cycle and rest on your laurels? Is it only ego that drives us to change, or is there a deeper genetic purpose for this constant development? I might answer these differently than you, but both of us would have valid views depending on the circumstances of our own life.

It is also very important to understand that anything you accomplish (a skill developed and then set in motion) through self-development has an impact not only on you, but on your circle of influence. Family, friends, colleagues, and aquaintances benefit directly from your skill pool. There is even a global impact in that when the level of faith, education, tolerance and social ability raises even a fraction of a percent, the human condition improves. This is the basis of hope for humanity in its simplest form.

Growing as a person always requires change. Change can be a radical idea that takes you to a far away place to explore, lend a helping hand or start a new business. It can also be a quiet commitment to pray or read 30 minutes every day. The most important thing is that the change is something positive that you choose and not a negative influence that carries you on an ill wind to places you never wanted to be. If that small voice is telling you "I shouldn't, but why not?" think about it long and hard, because that is a dangerous road that usually interrupts your life and rarely enhances it. Choose a better path. Use the power of decision and go for the things that glorify God, beautify your surroundings and edify your mind.

You don't have to be the CEO or the person in charge of anything except your own life to make positive change. A homemaker that learns to sew and make curtains for her home or clothes for her children is validated in that skill. The homemakers'attention to the finite skills in life has just as much importance in that circle of influence as a CEO has in theirs. Comparing your life to the lives of others is not the way to determine your value. If you must compare, compare what you were doing yesterday with what you are doing today. Is it more or less, better or worse? More importantly, are you happy in it? Less can be better; less worry, less stress, as more can be worse. Have you filled your plate too full? It's all relative to your own situation.

The first step is always to ask the questions. My questions go something like this:

1. Have I thanked God for my gifts, repented and practiced forgiveness and asked for His blessing?
2. What do I need to accomplish TODAY?
3. Is there something in my marriage that needs attention today?
4. Is my life going well?
5. If not, why not? If so, what is working well?
6. What can I do, this day, to make things better?
7. What are my 3 most important short term goals? Am I doing something positive to make them happen?
8. What are my lifetime goals? How is that going? Do I need to get help?
9. Does someone I know need me? How can I fulfill that need?
10. What steps can I take to fill in the knowledge and skill gaps in my life?

It would be a big fat lie to tell you I always get through this list, or that the list doesn't change daily. The comfort of the list is in knowing that it exists and that you can go back to it for a focal point if things get chaotic. Frankly, if you just pick one question on the list and work on it for a while, the exercise is just as valuable.

No matter what you do, write a blog, fly a kite or invent a universal vaccine for the eradication of stupidity in the world, you matter. What you do today matters. Never mind the nay-sayers that tell you to "get a life", you have one and it belongs to you. Be thoughtful, be considerate, be kind, be faithful, be loving and stay well. Make changes and develop skills through living your daily life with enthusiasm and keen interest in others.

I think I'll go change the sheets. This was exhausting.

For those that are clamoring for more, more, more, here are some pictures from our morning walk (a habit my husband and I are trying desperately to develop) here at Sun City Texas: