Good decisions have a way of fading into history very comfortably. They serve their purpose, set an accomplishment in motion and come to a satisfactory end or perpetuate an action that ensures our future. They meld with the fabric of our values and have no further need to be discussed or worried over. One of the obvious problems with this is that we tend to minimize the tremendous power of such a decision. We are expected to make good decisions and immediate rewards are a rare instance.
Bad decisions are frozen indelibly on the human heart. The difference is that they have a malicious afterlife that stymies our ability to move forward toward health and well being. They act like a living fungus on our conscience and eat away at self worth like voracious monsters. Worst of all, they often set a precedent for future decisions, perpetuating the loop of personal disappointment, despair and damaged relationships. The consequences are enormous and it takes extraordinary courage and personal fortitude to change directions once a really bad decision is made.
Examples of good and bad decisions are not necessary to make my point. There is not a man or woman living on earth without some experience with both. To explore the problem further, all we need to do is focus our attention on our own life, assess our personal situation and look back to those frozen moments that formed the basis of our current relationship with self and others. This can be a heart wrenching activity, but there are both immediate and long term rewards for sitting still for a moment and making no decision except to do better one moment at a time. One part of this process is to take responsibility for your past decisions and stop assigning blame to other persons or situations. We need to forgive ourselves for bad decisions in the past, repair what we are able to repair as a foundation for the future, be brave through the consequences and make an absolute conviction to give serious thought and consideration to situations in the future that require us to make lasting choices.
Every bad thing that happens to a person in their life is not their fault. Some things are. Every good thing is not luck. Many are rewards that are accumulated by practicing the universal values of life such as truth and honor. All bad things are not tied to momentous decisions. Most are. All good things do not come from being a perfect person with a pristine conscience. In fact, only Jesus had this on his side.
Be careful about selling yourself short in the world, because there is unyielding and mysterious power in self healing. People can and do get better, stronger, healthier, smarter, happier, more faithful and more able to love and receive love every single day. They do this in spite of poor circumstance, poverty and the ignorant undermining of nay-Sayers.
I believe that the spirit of the human condition is perpetually lifted from the depths of hell by every single small effort that results in a good decision. I believe that we each have a responsibility on this earth to improve our life and the lives of those around us by being true to our values in the actions we take. I also believe that we would be less than human if we did not fail over and over at this ominous task. That is why it is called experience; we must experiencee both to know the difference between success and failure.
Call on your experience when you are in trouble. Use it like a well worn reference, because it is the best guide you will ever have for what is right for you. Pray for guidance to interpret your experience in a way that will free you from the burden of bad decision making and then take conscious actions to ensure a better tomorrow. If you slip and fall, excuse yourself, but do not fall into the abyss. Stop, breathe and call up your courage to climb back up to the top of the hill.
One more thought that strikes me as important in this process is asking for and calling on the experience of others when you are in need. Humility is not an easy position for most people, but it is the best possible posture when we are frozen in a cycle of bad thinking. It may be that all we need is a good listener to bounce around ideas or situations, but more often we are looking for a person who will be honest with us without judging. Support is a tall order, but can be found. Look into your heart for that one person and if there is no one on earth that you can trust, remember that Christ died so that we would be saved from our sins and have everlasting life. He always listens to your pleas and loves you more than He loved his own life.
I truly try to find the good in every situation. The thoughts above come not only from my heart, but from a good deal of experience with both the good and bad things in life. I made decisions many years ago that I am still in the process of repairing. I also made a few that have been the glory and the saving of my life. My husband and each of my children are among those good decisions and I love them under all conditions. I lived miraculously past the time when I made the poorest choices in my life and came through the worst of them with greater compassion and understanding for the trials of others.
Everyone deserves the chance to wipe the slate clean and start over, no matter how many tries it takes to get it right. Next time, count to 10 before you take action. While you are at it, make a list of the good things you accomplished in your life so far. If the list seems short, ask the people who really know you to make a list for you. The results are usually eye opening accounts about contributions you were unaware of making to the lives of others.
You will find balance and peace if you look for it hard enough.
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