Paula's Reality Diet Journal

A Real Reality Diet Journal
Journal Entry 8, August 20, 2005 - 31st Day

I'm back after several days without journaling. We finally finished our Texas/Kansas/Colorado/Texas/Colorado/Kansas/Colorado/Texas odessy and completed our family obligations the best that we were able, and we are trying to get back to some kind of normal schedule here at home. Note: If you leave home for several weeks in July-August, don't do it in Texas. Our weeds have been having a growth holiday while we were gone and I have all the exercise I can take just trying to catch up on the yard. I picked a full trash bag full of monkey grass and assorted weeds this morning and I'm sure there are four or five more bags to be pulled before the yard looks decent.

My diet progress has slipped slightly, back to 8 pounds lost, but I am still pleased. I have not really been dieting, only being careful about portions for the last week, and the loss seems pretty stable. Now is the time to go back to the plan. I had hoped to be on South Beach and sailing by this time, but with all the interruptions, cooking at home was not possible. All excuses aside, I've decided to start where my success started and go back to the Cabbage Soup diet for 1 week. It's been several weeks now, so I think the strategy is sound and that it will be a good way to get back in the swing of a health diet.

So, 31 days, 8 lbs. If I can lose 8 in September, October and November (another 24 pounds)that will be a 32 pound total. I can't tell you how satisfying that would be until it really happens. Trust me, I'll find the words when the time comes.

See you again soon.

Paula


A Real Reality Diet Journal
Journal Entry 7, August 9, 2005 - 22nd Day

It's official. This morning the scale answered my query with a solid 10 pound loss! Yea me! It's a long way from goal, but a really encouraging bench mark, especially considering the left field events we've been through the last 2 weeks.

5 more days on the road, 2 to Stephenville, where we are staying for the family reunion I've put together with my cousins on my mother's side of the family. 2 days in Stephenville and a day back to Georgetown. I will be so glad to get home to our life and get things back to normal. Of course, there is the trip to Houston for my husband's neurology appointment (2 days)the week we return, then the church retreat in mid-september and a planned vacation the last week of September. I guess that the lesson from this is that life is never predictable so you need emergency plans and strategies to employ if you are trying to diet with any consistency.

The truth is that life is full of unexpected directions. Personal resolve is key in determining whether the surprizes take you away from what you want or teach you lessons about how to keep your values and goals through all circumstances. If you can pull through the hard times without slipping back into undesirable habits, it will make the routine days a snap to handle.

There are 143 days left in 2005. If I can lose 10 pounds every 22 days until the end of the year, it will be a loss of approximately 65 pounds. I'm going to be easy on myself and set my goal at 7 pounds every 22 days. That is 45.5 more pounds by December 31; a total loss of 55.5 pounds for 2005. It's not quite goal, but very close. I should be wearing a size 10 by New Year's. Now that's something to look forward to!

We'll talk again around the 15th of August when I get home from the reunion.

Paula

A Real Reality Diet Journal
Journal Entry 7, August 6, 2005 - 19th Day

Things are not going great. I say this after pizza for supper, which was excellent and pretty well controlled as I only ate two small pieces. I had McDonald's for breakfast, no lunch.

We are on the road again after my youngest daughter was in a motorcycle accident. She will get well and we are fortunate to have her here with us. We came to Colorado to help with her after-hospital care of serious skin injuries to 60% of her body; the diet pretty much flew out the window with stress and refocusing of energy.

In the midst of this event, my husbands' step-mother passed away very suddenly. We made an emergency trip from Colorado to Kansas and back to attend the memorial services and to lend family support to his 96 year old father who had been married 23 years to this lovely woman.

Stress has been very high here. Being a caretaker for anyone is difficult and my older daughter has done an excellent job under very difficult circumstances, but not without serious disruption of her household and normal activities. Squeezing in dressing changes and getting up in the middle of the night to dispense medication has taken it's toll on her well being. I am forever thankful for her caring ways with both her siblings and me. My husband and I came to help after being invited, but that's more people in the house and even though some of the responsibilities are spread out, the family dynamics in these situations are always tense. This is no different.

On top of all of this I've developed an inflammation around one of my molars and I'm going to have to go in for an emergency dental appointment on Monday if it doesn't improve (not likely).

Right now, we are just thanking God that my daughter will recover and trying to get through both the accident and our grief for Bill's family. This is the kind of curve that classically will end a diet for good, but I am determined to get back on track and make this work. After all, what good can I be to others if I can't take care of my own health?

Note: Until I get home, more salads and veggies, less eating out, lots of water and try not to worry so much. Remember that God is watching over us and try to trust more in Him.

All of this will heal in time.

I'm not weighing this week, it's too scary.

Paula


A Real Reality Diet Journal
Journal Entry 6, July 28, 2005 - 10th Day

Time is a strange concept. Have you ever noticed that it has a different meaning to you that is completely dependent on the actions that you are measuring by time? Sleep time, too short. Waiting for Christmas, too long. Vacation, too short. Working, dreadfully slow if you hate your job, too fast if you love it. Hug time, never enough. Dieting? It's like being in a major time warp going backwards.

While I was beating myself up this morning (a negative ritual I use to motivate myself), one of the things on my list was that I have not paid enough attention to THE DIET the last two days. My weight loss stabalized the last two days and it's 6.5 pounds, not 8. It seemed like I had been doing this forever with no substantial results.

I'm laughing at myself now, because I came back to the journal and realized that it's only been 10 days since I started, I was basically off of the diet the last two days because of other very legitimate concerns in my life that I was attending to, AND I had still maintained the loss of that 6.5 pounds!

"A rationalization is more important than sex. If you don't believe it, try living one day without a rationalization."

- Jeff Goldbloom, from THE BIG CHILL

My rationalization of the day is that the 1.5 pound difference is probably water weight. Rationalization two for being happy about the 6.5 pounds is that it's more weight than I've lost in a month in previous attempts. Aside from the rationalizations, wake up Rockingrama! That was a 5 pound bag of flour and a 1.5 sack of blubber you lost! NEVER MIND THE WATER you Putz.

Benefits gained:

Ankles that look better, at least to me.
A little confidence to continue dieting.
Some insight into some very basic good eating habits.
A sense of perspective about allowing for a SMALL margin of error.
6.5 Pounds Lost, gone, down the drain, swooooooooosh! YEA!

I'm entering a danger zone because we're leaving on another trip and will be traveling most of the next three weeks. This means I'm going to have to exercise extreme control over what I eat on the road, provide good choices when I'm able to eat at home and choose very wisely when we eat out.

I'm like The Little Engine that Could now. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can! I'll let you know when I know I can. lol

Wish me well and I'll keep you informed.

End Note: I've decided to republish this journal with the most recent day on top instead of the first day so it's easier for readers. Since it's basically hiding all the other articles here, I may move it over the next couple of months to it's own unique blog site. There are other human issues I want to share with you. God Bless each of you.

Paula



Journal Entry 5, July 26, 2005 - 8th Day

It's been some weekend. I did pretty well on the diet on Saturday. It was a beef and vegetables day. The diet allows for a substitution once of fish, so we had grilled fish for lunch, a bowl of the soup and salad. For supper I did salad, squash, brussel sprouts and sliced tomatoes. I ate some cantelope, which was not on the diet (2 1 inch slices). I stayed up way too late on Saturday night and ended up sneaking another Milky Way bites...ok, it was actually 2! Such pressure. Note: Don't stay up so late, you get hungry.

Sunday was Brown Rice, unsweetened fruit juices and vegetables. I had a vegetable omlette for breakfast after church...of course, eggs are not on the diet. I had lots of raw and cooked vegetables plus the rice the rest of the day. Last night I had some stressful news that affected me emotionally though, couldn't get to sleep and ended up eating some ice cream (1 scoop) before I went to bed. I understand that this was purely emotional eating, but it didn't stop me.

The total weight loss for the diet is good. I'm still at an 8 pound loss and my attitude is to continue. I'm not elated, because I think I could have done better.

Things I learned:

I have 2 very weak (lame) habits to break. The worst is staying up so long after dinner that I get hungry again. Since there's not a meal at this time, I tend to grab "whatever", which is usually something sweet. Going to bed at a more reasonable hour should be helpful with this.

The other is an emotional attachment to foods that I normally would not be tempted to eat, but crave if I'm in the wrong state of mind. That can be anything from normal frustrations when things aren't going my way to more serious issues like worrying about family. I need to target another kind of activity and stay away from the kitchen when I'm in an emotional mode. I was not hungry and did not need or really want ice cream last night, but it seemed like the right prescription for the emptiness I was feeling. NOT. My tactic for this in the future will be to set the timer for 30 minutes anytime I am "wanting" items I know I shouldn't have, then make a new decision when the timer rings. I suspect that the time will help me make a better decision. I'll let you know.

Another tactic to use: Smaller plates, smaller bowls, cups instead of mugs and plenty of bottled water so you know how much you are drinking.

Notes about the Cabbage Soup Diet: I think this is a really good starter diet in many ways. There's enough to eat if you like vegetables, and I really couldn't see anything unhealthy about the diet as long as you take vitamin and mineral supplements along with the regimen. A major drawback for me was that there's a big void in the area of breakfast items. Getting up and having vegetables or cabbage soup for breakfast just didn't appeal to me, so I was waiting until lunch to eat most days and just having liquids in the morning. There are two days when you can have fruit, the 3rd day and the banana and skim milk day, and one day when you can have unsweetened fruit juices, the last day. This helped me get through because I could use the fruit item for breakfast on these days.

Now for the hard part. What and how to do things this week. I will be eating only measured foods, trying to work South Beach menus into our regimen, and for at least this week, using a lot of frozen portion Lean Quizine or South Beach dinners. It's all about calorie counting and portions for the next two weeks. I'm interested to see if this is all water weight that will come back like a sledge hammer on me. It doesn't feel that way, but I am skeptical still.

Monday, Monday...My plan is to have 2/3 cup of Special K and 1/2 cup of skim milk for breakfast. Cabbage Soup and salad for lunch and a Lean Cuisine dinner plus plenty of liquids and all of my supplements. This is less than 1000 calories. Pray for me.

Paula

6th Day: Journal Entry 4, July 23, 2005

I am at a 9 pound loss, which is better than I've done on any start up program in the last 25 years. I'm elated about the loss, but still skeptical about my ability to maintain it.

Confession: Last night I sneaked a milky way bite size candy into the diet. I was not really tempted to have more, just wanted a bite of something really sweet. I also had some brussel sprouts with my beef and tomatoes. Since I couldn't think of a substantial difference between brussel sprouts and cabbage, this seemed like a suitable choice if I was going to add to the menu. Had the soup at noon along with sliced tomatoes and a glass of diet green tea. I'm still not able to get down as much water as they recommend, but I'm downing as much as possible and try to keep it handy all the time. An interesting aside is that the liquids seem to go down easier with a straw.

Today is Beef and Vegetables day and according to the diet, I can substitute broiled fish or chicken on one of the days for beef. I'm having broiled Grouper with Key West spices (has a lime flavor)and yellow summer squash with a spinich salad for supper.

I miss eggs.

Visible differences:

My face seems less swollen and puffy and there's a pretty substantial change in my ankles. My rings fit better. I attribute this to water loss. However, I can see a little difference in my upper arms and abdomen. This coming week I am going to start charting measurements. I won't share these here yet(too embarassing), but when I get done with the diet, I will post them. I will tell you that most of my clothes are a size 18 or 18P, with some 1 and 2X garments now. I'll let you know right away as that changes and I can get in to some of my smaller clothing!

Physical notes:

I seem to have plenty of energy most of the time, but when I get tired, I hit the wall. I haven't been taking any pain medications this week because I wanted to assess where I am with this issue. My knees hurt, as usual, but there may be some benefit as I was able to tolerate the pain without the medications. It would be a substantial benefit not to have to take them. We only went swimming once and should have been 3x or more...will try to correct this next week, it's important.

Planning:

Since I'm not going to be on this same diet next week, I went to the store and stocked up on raw salad goods, fruit and frozen diet meals(mostly Lean Cuisine). I started an Excel Spreadsheet in my data files to track weight, inch loss and any symtomatic problems I have with continuing to diet. I have the South Beach cookbook and I'm marking recipes that I think I actually will and can cook. The problem with this wonderful book is that it often calls for special ingredients or spices that people rarely have on hand. The style of eating is a good one though and I think I can adapt over a pretty short period of time.

The Cabbage Soup 7 day diet has some confusing recommendations online...I found a few places that said you should leave 2 weeks in between using this diet and one that said the diet was healthy enough to use as often and as long as you like. Since it is working so well for me, I'm going to go off for one week and then back on and split the difference. Off meaning that I will use a different diet that specifically provides more protein choices for the one week in between.

Other recipe notes: When I amde the soup I substituted a large yellow onion for the green onions, used a package of shredded carrots in lieu of the 3 carrots, left out the mushrooms, substituted celery salt for the celery and added a package of the shredded broccoli slaw mix from the grocery store. I still used the canned tomatoes, 2 chopped green peppers and the Lipton Soup. I used a full head of cabbage instead of the half the recipe specifies and no V8 (I kept this to drink).For seasoning, I used Louisanna brand Cajun Seasoning, extra garlic and pepper, but no extra salt. Even though I'm a little tired of the soup after a week, it was very palatable and I enjoyed it most of the time.

Looking at the ingredients, I think you could puree them and make a more traditional "Gaspacho" and drink it cold for a little difference in the taste. Just be careful to include the cabbage. I would cook the cabbage until its soft, cool it off, then add it into the blender with the rest of your ingredients to puree. Drink or eat this while it's really cold for the best taste and consistency. You can add a tablespoon or two of mashed avocado, mixed with a small amount of low-fat/no-fat sour cream and seasoned to taste as a garnish to the cold soup without hurting the diet too much if you stick to the portion and follow everything else for the day you are on.

All that said, the less you fool around with the original recipe, the better off you probably will be. I tend to get creative with food, so follow your heart and use your head. Remember that the obvious key to this particular way of dieting is changing your body chemistry. Also, watch out for any medical symptoms such as lack of energy, lightheadedness, constipation or diarrea and make sure that you make whatever adjustments are necessary right away to correct the problem even if it means going off of the diet. If this happens, don't give up, just make a new plan.

I can do this, and so can you.

Paula

4th thru 5th Day: Journal Entry 3, July 22, 2005

I've been good. With minor modifications in what I have to drink mostly, I have followed the diet to the "T" for the last three days. I thought the bananas and skim milk day would be hard, but really it wasn't too tough. If you are one of those persons who dislikes milk, I would suggest that you sub the Chocolate Soy Milk "Silk" product instead. It has a nice taste, goes well with the diet and doesn't add anything substantial to the calorie intake. If you can't stand either one, try a no caffiene, low calorie/no calorie soft drink like Minute Maid Lite Lemonade (5 calories) and be sure you take a vitamin supplement this day that includes calcium and vitamin D.

Now for the good news, I have lost 7 pounds. Even though I know that a great deal of this is probably water-weight, it's as good as I've done in a while and I can't wait to see the results after 2 more days.

Down side: I have felt a little hungry and cranky, but nothing I couldn't handle if I just kept repeating my goals and kept myself otherwise occupied. Fixing meals for my husband is a little difficult, but I'm getting thru that too. I've had a slight headache a couple of times, but enough liquid seems to alleviate that.

Up side: The weight loss, of course. More than this I think there is a sense of "It may really be possible." going through my head, i.e. CHANGE OF ATTITUDE!

Temptation Thwarted: Went to Sonic with my husband last night. I had a diet cherry limeade while he had two hot dogs and a chocolate malt. Yea Me!

Today is the beef and tomato day and I'm ready for that steak. It's going to be an 8 oz rib eye on the grill. I bought tomatoes day before yesterday at a local stand and they are wonderful. Yummy.

Comments would be great. I could use the encouragement.

When I've lost 20 pounds, we'll try another picture. I'm not convinced that's enough to make a photo discernable difference, but we'll see.

Paula

Day 2, Journal Entry 2, July 19, 2005

Today was good after the scale-shock of the 2 lb gain this morning. The soup was already made. I'm having a little problem with the diet already though in that I need juice in the morning to take my supplements. They are liquid and getting them down in plain water just isn't an option. So I opted to add 6oz of Lite Cranberry Juice (40 calories)to mix the liquid and powder supplements. I don't think this will kill the balance of the diet, but who knows? If it does, I'll try another tactic.

What I was supposed to eat today: All the cabbage soup I wanted. All the vegatables I wanted (avoiding corn, peas and dried beans as much as possible)and a big baked potato for supper. What I actually ate: The cranberry juice/supplement mix, 2 bowls of cabbage soup, about 2/3 cup of green beans, 1/2 cup of mixed veggies, which did include corn, a small green salad at both lunch and supper and that wonderful baked potato. I had a lot of liquids, but probably not the 64oz recommended. Also, I drank a Minutemaid Lite Lemonade (5 Calories). I'm going to pass on the chocolate soy Silk tonight.

I have to tell you that my husband is so cute. He's trying to be supportive and today (the second day of the diet), he told me I must be doing really good because I look better. What a sweetheart...he doesn't know about the two pounds, so I'll just let him live in blissful ignorance. Now that's love!

I had the good fortune to run into my friend Sandy on the internet tonight via "Hello" and I had a great talk with her about this. She's been on a different diet for a few months now and has lost almost 60 pounds! What a trouper and a great influence. I'm going to keep talking to this lady! You may say "why not go on her diet?", but if you are a dieter of any experience you know that it's a very individual issue. We'll see how things go.

Exercise was on the agenda today and Bill and I both went swimming. I walked around the resistance current thingy 12 times and did some leg lifts, stretches and running in place in the water. I think I got in a good 30 minutes of pure exercise, the other hour was just funning around, talking to the ladies, etc.

Closing comments: Time for bed before I eat again. If I lose 60 pounds, there's going to be a serious party! No pictures today, I still look fat.

Paula


Opening Day: Journal Entry 1, July 18, 2005

What dieting is really like from one horses mouth.

It occurred to me while contemplating a diet AGAIN that there is a lot of positive support available. Unfortunately, most of it sounds like a pep rally and reads like slick magazine advertising. Never mind the money. It would be worth some money to lose the weight. Hard earned experience tells me that that is not the answer though, so I'm starting my own weight loss campaign and I'm going to share honestly what it's like a to z. Warning, there may be negatives here, but if that is true I'm going to try to work out the solution in print for you.

Here are a few positive statements to start out: I am ready for this. I am sick of being fat and sick and ready to sport a healthy weight forever. I want my looks back and know that it can be done. I know that by doing this I will increase my lifespan by at least 5 years and possibly more. I may be able to avoid more surgery with aggressive health management, including a healthy diet.

OK, today I made the Cabbage Soup! Been there and done that before, but when I queried myself, I had to ask; were you consistent? (no), how much of the soup did you throw away? (1/2) were you doing the other things you need to do to make a diet work? (sleep, supplements, exercise, journaling?- no again).

Seriously though, this weight management issue is way out of hand. I weigh 209 today and at 5'2" that is not only not good, it's health and life threatening. I haven't developed the worst of problems that can be associated with overweight people such as diabetes and heart failure, but I do have plenty of associated problems. Anyone that is this overweight that tells you differently needs a reality check.

To date the health issues are:

1. I have Osteoarthritis and the weight is causing me problems with rehabbing from knee replacement surgery in 2004. I need to correct issues with swelling, walking incorrectly while trying to reduce stress on the knee (duh!). The other knee is as bad as the one I had replaced before surgery and my hips are not far behind the knees.
2. I have a large gall stone that needs to be removed (also not uncommon for overweight people), but I don't want to expose myself to surgery again at this weight.
3. Pain is limiting my ability and willingness to commit to regular exercise. However, in truth, the exercise can alleviate some of the pain. Go figure. It's a vicious circle.
4. I've had two bladder/kidney infections in the last two years. None now, knock on wood. Previous 56 years, 0 bladder/kidney infections. Seems like there's a clue in there somewhere.
5. My blood pressure is inching up. That speaks for itself.

6. I worry more about diseases like diabetes, cancer and chronic heart failure than I should and this worrying is a detriment to my well being.

Speaking of healthy; you may be interested to know that I don't think the current diet I prepare for me and my husband is all that unhealthy. We eat lots of fresh fruit and vegetables, fish and chicken more than red meat and I include soy protein, antioxidants and sources of beta carotene in our diet. When I use oil, its mostly olive oil, sometimes safflower or canola. Most of the liquid we drink is free of calories. I take vitamin and mineral supplements daily. We are also desert lovers though, and frequent the ice cream shelf too often. The other issue is the same one that most Americans have, we eat out too often and many times that includes 'fast food'.

This pattern will have to be seriously modified, along with the ice cream issue. Bummer? Not really. I don't like the guilt associated with eating what I shouldn't anyway. I think the issue, for me is one of pure excess. Not necessarily too much at one sitting, but too much overall for my age, weight and condition.

For the first day this is a lot of purging. Pun intended. I'm going to close now, but will make a note if I slip up so you can have the full monty. I need to reserve the time to think about what I will eat tomorrow. What a conundrum.

One final note. For the sake of continuity, I will be updating this document rather than posting new ones each time I write about this. Here is a 'fat picture' for your edification and amusement and to remind me of why I'm doing this.

I'm on the right. This is early in the morning and it was a really bad hair day too. The picture is interesting because you can see my back side too! Laughing.

Oh well.

Wish me well.