What Mothers Think About on Mother's Day

What Mothers Think about on Mother’s Day
Paula Roberts May 2005

For me, the first order of thought is my own mother. Our parents have a profound influence from the moment we are born through the end of our own life, but the bonding of mother and child is one of such magnitude and beauty that it is never forgotten by any child. I have found this to be almost always true regardless of the life issues in families. I believe that even children who lose their mother very early in life are affected by the bond of genetics to their birth mother.

The child in each of us reaches for the good and minimizes other issues that may have been a part of our upbringing. There is an inherent need in us to aspire to those good qualities and hold them up as the image of our mother, who is after all, the vessel by which we arrived on this earth.

What I remember most about my mother on Mother’s Day is her vulnerability, her laughter, her determination and hard work through adversity and her ability to make a home that was uniquely ours wherever we lived. I think of her small frame and her big heart, her hands worn by work and the way she was constantly planning for our next trip “where the sun is shining”. I also think of her consideration for her own mother, whether sitting at the kitchen table and writing her long letters or driving hundreds of miles to see her. I dedicate this day to my mother because I would not exist except through her.

All mothers think deeply about their children on this day as well. For me it’s a process of remembering the many events that touched me deeply about each of my children. For example the time that Joseph saved his paper route money for a date with me and took me out to a dinner theatre for mother’s day and the look in his eyes when he talks about his wife and family now. The deep connection I’ve enjoyed with my oldest daughter Kimberly throughout her life. The strength Kimberly shares with me when I have none of my own. Deborah’s personality, wit and matter of fact way of dealing with life coupled with her gift of steadfastness to her children when she was raising them alone. Then there is Carla’s single minded loyalty and obvious love for family and friends. The strong good looks and quick smiles that they share and the absolute shining beauty I see in each of them reflecting back to our connection as family sustains me for all time. I am proud to be their parent.

My grandchildren by Deborah - Amber, Dwight and Corey and my step-grandchildren Regan, Maddy and Griffin are also making my soul soar today. They are the image of the best qualities in their parents and have a measure of beauty, intelligence and inner strength that will serve their future well. I can’t wait to see the unique possibilities that will unfold in their lives.

My sister Marilyn and her husband Jack, who didn’t have children until 10 years after they were married are on my mind. Their love, loyalty, generosity and gentle guidance have produced two fine young adults in my nephew Preston and my niece, Ashley. They were there every single day, heart on their sleeve, for the edification of these precious lives.

My mothers advice to me was to always be grateful for what I have. I am so very grateful. I am grateful to God for giving me this wonderful and surprising family. I am grateful for their steadfast love and support. I am grateful for Joseph’s wife Leslie and Kimberly’s husband Robert and their extended family who have been so kind to us. I am grateful for my husband, who married me late in life and took my family into his heart. I am grateful to be here to experience life and to have the opportunity to learn from our mistakes, build on our strengths and take sustenance from the love that surrounds me.

None of this talk of mothers and family is about perfection. Families are not an art of perfection, but a living process made of both failures and successes. It would be disingenuous to hold myself or my family up as a model for family living. This is about respect and understanding for the humanity in each of us and about having the patience to see our potential through to its best end. In one word, it’s really about love.

Happy Mother’s Day.