INDEPENDENCE AND PRIDE

Independence is only a good thing as long as it supports our freedom to live a healthy life filled with friends and family. It is a mistake to believe that independence can be achieved by simply living without the assistance of others. It is also prideful and egotistical to believe that we are whole unless we are participating fully in the life that is available to us. We must be very careful when insulating our lives from interaction with others, as often it is a sign that we have hidden agendas or issues with our own lives. Conversely, a life filled with friends, acquaintances and family most often is one that is full of happiness and honesty. There are some great benefits to knowing what independence really means. I believe that the following concepts apply:

§ Independence should be exercised freely when we are faced with important choices.

§ Independence should be used in those times when we need to say no to requests that do not serve a moral and correct purpose; to sever bad relationships or to steer away from harmful situations.

§ Independence should be a state of mind that allows us to think for ourselves, disagree appropriately, and act with strength on our convictions.

§ Independence should be a process that allows us to make our own positive decisions about important choices that make sense in our own life and work with our individual environment within the laws of God and man.

§ Asserting independence is a normal sign of being an adult, and should be considered a healthy activity.

§ Individuals never become whole unless they learn to think independently, live interdependently and have the trust to be dependent when it is necessary and appropriate.

Most of us are full of Pride. It is one of the 7 deadly sins. A small amount of pride can be a good thing, but only to the extent that it motivates you to be your best self. There is a subtle line where this changes. Pride becomes a consumer of the soul when it causes you to withdraw from your support system and think that you can operate in the world independently and without moral support and love. It worms its way into your life and eats away trust and faith in the good will of others. It gives you a false sense of confidence in the truth of your own thought process and causes you to deny the value of considering alternative thought. Lastly, it leaves you alone and distraught.

I write about these things with some authority, because they are my own issues as well. Pride and stubborn independence have probably caused more suffering in my life than anything. I have been unable or unwilling to share my own demons with anyone, often including God, to the extent that it borders on self abuse. Do not believe for a moment that I am confusing my problems with anyone elses though. I am able to recognize the signs because of my own experience.

When I am in my most manic mode of thinking, I believe that I have evolved beyond the need for too much independence and that I have just the right mix of pride and self-righteousness. Dangerous thinking for sure. Frankly, it sounds like pride coming back full circle. The point is that this is very touchy business and an integral part of our psyches. These are two concepts that can work hand in hand to undermine our progress as humans of a higher order if they are not checked and rechecked. I believe that we need to take some quiet time to assess our motives once in a while and be honest with ourselves about the functionality of independence and pride in our lives.

I does not stand for Island.

Paula